What to do if I’m scared to look at my bank account
If you’ve ever avoided checking your balance or felt your stomach drop just opening your banking app, you’re not alone. Feeling scared to look at your bank account is more common than you might think, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bad with money or irresponsible.
For many, bank account anxiety goes hand in hand with financial uncertainty, debt, or past experiences that have shaped their current money habits. Avoiding finances might seem like a way to cope in the short term, but over time, it can make things harder to manage.
In this blog, we unpack what’s really going on when you fear looking at your bank balance. We also show you a few practical steps you can take to overcome this difficulty and improve your relationship with money.
Why does checking your bank balance feel so difficult?
Whether you’re scared to check your bank balance after a weekend of spending, or you haven’t looked in weeks because you’re worried about bills or debt repayments, the underlying emotion is often fear.
It might be fear of:
- Seeing a lower balance than expected
- Facing the reality of debt or overspending
- Feeling judged, even by yourself.
In some cases, the fear is tied to deeper issues. Perhaps you’ve grown up in a household where money was a source of anxiety. Maybe you’ve experienced job loss, unexpected expenses, or financial control in a relationship. These experiences can lead to money avoidance behaviour, making it feel safer to look the other way.
But here’s the thing – looking the other way doesn’t make the problem disappear. In fact, it can lead to missed payments, overlooked information, and reduced control over your money. Facing your finances head-on can help you make more informed decisions.
What is money avoidance – and how does it show up?
Money avoidance is a pattern of behaviour where someone actively steers clear of thinking about or managing their finances. It can involve:
- Ignoring bank notifications
- Avoiding budget apps
- Putting off opening bills
- Not setting up direct debits or reviewing expenses.
You might tell yourself: ‘I’ll deal with it next week’ or ‘I don’t want to ruin my mood’. It’s natural to want to protect yourself but over time, this kind of avoidance can lead to missed payments, increased debt, and feeling more out of control.
The good news is, once you recognise that avoidance is a response to fear, not laziness, you can start to gently work through it.
Validating your feelings is the first step
Let’s be clear – your fear is valid. You’re not silly for feeling overwhelmed, or weak for wanting to avoid your money situation. Many people in the UK experience the same thing – especially with the rising cost of living.
Opening your banking app or checking a balance you’re scared to see can feel like opening Pandora’s box. Feeling that way doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong – so try not to judge yourself.
Instead of criticising yourself for avoiding finances, try shifting the focus: you’ve noticed the pattern, and you’re here looking for answers. This attitude can help you to make positive progress with your finances.
Small, manageable steps to re-engage with your finances
You don’t need to fix everything overnight. Often, it’s better to start small so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Here are some gentle first steps:
- Pick one day each week to review your bank account. This regular check-in can help replace fear with familiarity.
- Look at one transaction at a time. Don’t scan for the final number right away – just get used to what’s coming in and going out.
- Set a timer. Give yourself five minutes to check your balance, then step away. You don’t need to dig deeper until you’re ready.
- Use a pen and paper to jot down just the essentials: balance, upcoming bills, income. Seeing it written down can create clarity.
If you’re unsure about where your money’s going each month, understanding your spending patterns can help you spot what’s working – and what’s not. You can start by looking at whether you might be spending too much in certain areas
When being scared to look at your bank account is linked to debt
In many cases, financial anxiety is rooted in debt. If your bank balance reminds you of payments you can’t make or overdraft limits you’ve exceeded, the fear makes sense.
The important thing to know is that help is available – and burying your head in the sand doesn’t protect you from the consequences. Missed payments can lead to more charges, reduced credit scores, and even legal action in some cases.
But you don’t have to face it alone. You can explore structured debt solutions like a Debt Management Plan (DMP) or an Individual Voluntary Arrangement (IVA), depending on your situation.
These options can help you manage your repayments in a way that feels doable – so checking your bank account stops feeling like a punishment and starts becoming part of your financial recovery.
It’s not about being perfect – it’s about taking control
Money avoidance behaviour isn’t something you can ‘cure’ overnight. It’s about building a relationship with your money that feels healthy and manageable.
Here’s what that might look like over time:
- You start checking your balance once a week
- You recognise spending patterns and adjust them
- You reach out for support when you need it
- You forgive yourself for slip-ups and keep going.
These are all signs of progress. If you need support to make that next step, there’s no shame in asking. You can get free advice on budgeting and debt from MoneyHelper.
How MoneyPlus can help you feel more in control
At MoneyPlus, we understand that money worries can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’re scared to check your bank balance because you know there’s not enough to cover the essentials – or maybe you’re simply not sure where your money goes each month.
We offer confidential, non-judgmental advice to help you regain control of your finances. We can help you explore whether a formal debt solution like a DMP or IVA is right for you. Whenever you’re ready, you can speak to an adviser for tailored, regulated support
