If you’ve ever felt embarrassed to ask for money help or afraid to speak up about your finances, you’re not alone. Many people find it difficult to talk about money, especially when they’re struggling. But needing help isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a step towards taking control.
Whether you’ve fallen behind on bills, borrowed more than you can afford to repay, or have faced unexpected costs, asking for help can feel daunting. Some people feel ashamed to get financial support or worry about being judged.
This guide will walk you through the most common reasons people avoid reaching out, what kind of help is available, and why opening up about your financial situation could be the best decision you make.
Why does asking for help with money feel so hard?
There’s a lot of pressure to be seen as ‘good with money’. Social media, family expectations, or even our own beliefs can make us think we have to manage everything alone. But financial problems are very common and they can affect anyone, regardless of income or background.
You might feel ashamed if you’ve missed repayments, or afraid to ask for help with money in case family and friends find out. It’s completely normal to feel nervous about checking your bank balance or putting off opening invoices and bank statements. Those feelings are valid – but they don’t have to hold you back from taking the next step.
Many people worry about being judged or criticised for how they’ve handled their finances. Often, money struggles come from external pressures, not poor decision-making. Things like rising living costs, job changes and illness can all lead to financial pressure, no matter how careful you’ve been.
You’re not the only one
Debt and financial strain often feel hidden. People don’t talk openly about being in arrears or living on credit but behind closed doors, lots of households are juggling the same concerns.
It can feel easier to avoid talking about money, like you’re protecting yourself – but doing so often leaves you feeling more alone. By starting to talk, you can get the help and support you need.
What’s stopping people from asking for help?
There’s a number of reasons why people are reluctant to ask for help:
- ‘I don’t want to admit I’m struggling.’
It can feel difficult to accept you’re not coping, but recognising the issue is the first step toward improving it.
- ‘I’m scared people will judge me.’
Debt advisers are here to help, not criticise. Everything is confidential, and there’s no shame in asking questions.
- ‘It’s not that bad yet.’
People often wait until they’re completely overwhelmed before seeking help. But the sooner you reach out, the more options you’ll have.
- ‘I should be able to handle this myself.’
We hear this a lot. But managing money isn’t something you have to do alone. Everyone needs help sometimes.
Worried about being judged?
One of the biggest barriers to asking for financial support is the fear of being judged. At MoneyPlus, our advisers work with people from all walks of life – single parents, working professionals, carers, students, pensioners, and more.
We understand that everyone’s situation is different. Whether your money problems started due to a job loss, rising bills, family changes, or something else, we approach every conversation with compassion and understanding.
You won’t be asked to explain your choices or defend your spending. We’ll focus on what’s happening now and give you the support you need going forward.
Making the first step manageable
Taking any step is progress, even if it’s a small one. If you’re not ready to speak to someone just yet, here are a few things you can do quietly and at your own pace:
- Write down what you owe and who to
Make a simple list of all your debts. Include who you owe, how much, and whether there’s any interest being added. - List your monthly income and essential costs
Include regular income (like wages or benefits) and priority bills such as rent, council tax, and groceries. This can help you see where your money goes. - Open one recent letter or email about a debt
Just reading what’s being asked is a good start. Focus on one envelope or message at a time. - Set a reminder to check your bank balance once this week
Even if you don’t feel ready to act on it, checking your balance can help you reconnect with your finances. - Start a money diary
For one week, write down everything you spend. This isn’t about judgement – it’s just a way to spot patterns so you can start making small changes. - Save everything in one place
Whether it’s a folder on your phone or a box for letters, keeping things together can help you feel more prepared when you’re ready to take the next step.
What support looks like
Financial help doesn’t always mean taking out a loan or borrowing more money. In fact, there are structured debt solutions that could help you manage repayments, freeze interest, or reduce what you owe.
These include:
- Debt Management Plans (DMPs) – an informal agreement to make affordable monthly payments to your creditors on debt included in the DMP.
- Individual Voluntary Arrangements (IVAs) – a legally binding agreement that typically lasts five to six years and could lead to some debt included in the IVA being written off.
- Debt Relief Orders (DROs) – a debt solution that stops debt repayments for debts included in the DRO for 12 months.
If you’ve been afraid to ask for help with money or felt too embarrassed to get support, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and you’re not doing anything wrong.
You don’t need to wait until things get worse. You can act now, on your own terms, with the right support behind you. You can start by visiting MoneyHelper for free debt advice. Alternatively, get in touch with MoneyPlus. We’ve helped thousands of people move from uncertainty to stability and we’re ready to help you too.
