Money shame: why you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about debt
Ever found yourself hiding your bank statements or pretending a missed payment didn’t happen? You’re not alone. Feeling ashamed of financial problems is more common than you might think, and it can affect anyone, no matter their income, background or age.
Whether it’s guilt over credit card spending, the fear of being judged, or simply not knowing where to turn, shame about money problems can leave you feeling isolated. But in reality, millions are quietly facing similar situations.
What causes money shame?
But what causes money shame? There’s no single reason why someone might feel embarrassed about debt. For some, it’s the way they were brought up, where money wasn’t talked about, or financial struggles were hidden. For others, it could be losing a job, going through a break-up, or dealing with rising living costs that suddenly tip the balance.
Often, money shame comes from a belief that being in debt is a personal failure. But that’s simply not true. Life happens, bills build up, and sometimes, despite your best efforts, things spiral.
It’s also worth knowing that many people feel ashamed of financial problems even when they’ve done nothing wrong. Circumstances like illness, redundancy or rising interest rates are out of your control, but the shame can still hit hard.
When silence makes debt feel heavier
The trouble with shame is that it thrives in silence. The more you try to ignore or hide your situation, the heavier it feels. You might:
- Avoid talking about money with friends or family
- Delay opening letters or checking your bank balance
- Withdraw socially to avoid awkward conversations
Over time, this can make it harder to take action – even small steps like asking a question or seeking advice, and the longer you leave it, the more overwhelming it can seem.
But here’s something important: being ashamed of financial problems doesn’t change your worth. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re beyond help.
Breaking the silence around money shame
The first step in tackling money shame is talking about it. That doesn’t mean shouting your bank balance from the rooftops – just being honest with someone you trust can make a world of difference.
More open conversations about money are starting to happen, such as online, in workplaces, and even in schools. The stigma is slowly breaking down, and every time someone shares their experience, it helps others feel less alone.
You don’t need to have all the answers before you reach out. In fact, asking for help is often the bravest and smartest thing you can do.
What to do if you feel ashamed of financial problems
If shame about money problems is stopping you from taking action, try this:
- Acknowledge it – Write down what’s worrying you. Seeing it on paper often makes it feel less overwhelming.
- Challenge negative thoughts – Replace ‘I’m terrible with money’ with ‘I’m learning how to manage my money better.’
- Take a small step – Whether it’s checking your balance or opening one letter, progress starts with a single action.
- Get support – Speaking to a professional can help you understand your options and take back control.
Confidential, non-judgmental help is available
If you’re feeling embarrassed about debt, remember – you’re not alone, and you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself. Free, impartial advice is available from MoneyHelper.
Alternatively, at MoneyPlus, we offer confidential, non-judgmental advice tailored to your personal situation. We’ve been helping people across the UK for over 25 years, and we’re regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority, so you know you’re in safe hands.
There are practical solutions available, from Debt Management Plans (DMPs) to Individual Voluntary Arrangements (IVAs), that could make your payments more manageable. After taking out a debt solution, 2 in 3 customers who took part in a survey by MoneyPlus said they felt less stressed*.
We can help you with many aspects of dealing with debt stress. From understanding the difference between your priority and non-priority debts so you can manage your finances more confidently, to how to deal with debt collectors, we are here to help you move forward.
If you’re ready to take the next step, contact us at MoneyPlus today. The conversation is confidential, the advice is personalised, and the support is here when you need it.
*MoneyPlus customer survey 366 respondents May 2025.
